Showing posts with label Nicole Kidman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nicole Kidman. Show all posts

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Batman Forever (1995)

[Movie 98 / Day 62]


This movie is terrible. I gave it a chance, I tried to like it, I tried to get into it, but it's just awful. It's an awful script, it features awful 'comedy' sound effects, awful dialogue, awful special effects, awful costume design and pretty bad set design. In fact, it's just plain AWFUL.

I know it's a more colourful, comic book style to the Tim Burton Batmans that preceded it and I know it's more child friendly, but it's just hideous. The set designers seem to have gone to some lengths to make everything and everyone seem gay too. The Riddler wears a skin-tight green leotard, which is OK, but he also wears his hair died pinkish red and in a style that wouldn't look amiss on the top of a leather-clad butch dyke. As if that didn't make him look strange enough, he wears makeup and has oddly smooth skin.

Dick Grayson, the young chap that becomes Robin, has a lovely earring and also seems to be wearing makeup for the majority of the movie. The scene where he's doing his washing is just bizarre. When he's revealed in full Robin outfit, it's like a Village People reunion - quite why the costume designers felt the need to give him nipples (yes Batman has them too, but in this scene, the camera lingers on Robin's making them 10x more noticeable) and a prominent cod piece, I'm not sure.

They even managed to gay up Batman's costume and the Batmobile is just cringeworthy. Not only can it drive up a wall, the flames it spits are now pink and it has more blue neon on it than a McDonald's car park on a Friday night. As if that wasn't enough, the designers, in their infinite wisdom, added freaking BAT WINGS on the back of it. At one point it literally bounces down the road flapping it's wings. It's depressing. Oh, and who thought it would be a good idea to make it evade rockets by turning its wheels 90 degrees and moving sideways across the road? It's just plain ridiculous.

Even Tommy Lee Jones, who is normally excellent, can't improve this dire-fest. His portrayal of Two Face is poor at best - he really can't do over the top very well.

I'm guessing this movie was supposed to hark back to the camp, over-the-top style of the original, fondly remembered, TV series. Unfortunately, instead of camp, they hit bent.

If you're thinking of watching this, I'd recommend you don't. Watch one of the Burton or Nolan Batmans instead as they are FAR superior. If it's for the kids, watch Toy Story or Ratatouille. Microwave this disk then bury it under your patio - you'll thank me for it.

+2 for the surround sound, which is really quite good in places.

+1 for Drew Barrymore in tighty whities.

My rating: 3.5 / 10
IMDB rating: 5.4 / 10
Running time: 122 mins
IMDB link

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

The Golden Compass (2007)

[Movie 9 / Day 7]

The best thing about this film was Sam Elliott - and that's only because he plays a very similar character to The Stranger in The Big Lebowski. And the Caretaker in Ghostrider. And Virgil Earp in Tombstone. He's good at that grizzly-yet-friendly-old-cowboy thing.

Second best thing was when Ian McKellen's polar bear punched the jaw off Ian McShane's polar bear.

Other than that, it was long-winded and pretty boring. Apparently the books it's based on are very good - but I'll never know because this bland-fest has put me off reading them for life.

My rating: 5.1 / 10
IMDB rating: 6.3 / 10
Running time: 113 mins
IMDB link